In this article, I am briefly expressing my personal journey to finding self-love, peace, and my purpose. If you are still interested, continue reading below.
I just turned 30 in August of this year, on the days leading up to my big day I had so many feelings. I felt nervous, unaccomplished, like a failure, out of shape due to weight gain, and life had been very chaotic-- just to name a few. In my 20s, I thought I had time to party, make mistakes, procrastinate, eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted without worrying about weight gain, and I thought toxicity (in relationships) were cute until I found myself praying my way out of the situation.
I've spent so much time on things and people that didn't water me or my purpose. I invested all of me into anyone I said I loved and cared about. I forgot about myself, I neglected everything attached to ME.
I had big dreams and amazing goals set for myself as a young woman, but the phrase YOLO (you only live once) lived rent free in my mind as well. So, like most young women of today I chose to do everything that made me feel like I was living on edge, having fun, or living my "best life". When in reality, I was setting myself up for setbacks and hard times.
I can honestly say without embarrassment, I was lost and definitely had my priorities messed up. I could've been so far ahead if I would've stayed the course of following my set goals. Towards the end of my 20s I began to look around and see if I had anything to show or be proud of, but all I had was life, which I am very thankful and grateful for, but I didn't have the things that were important to me such as: a major degree, a house, a husband, stability, peace, and self-love.
I lacked all of those things, and here I am approaching 30 years old with nothing to bring along with me but my children. At first, I thought I had failed, and this was it for me; until one day I told myself this was only the beginning of a new and improved version of me and my life. I wasn't going to let my past define my present or my future.
I am a woman who has been redefining herself spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I am striving every day to rewrite my story and pursue everything my heart desires without distractions. I know the journey will come with hurdles and obstacles, but with prayer and faith I will overcome them.
If you are on a self-discovery journey, stay the course because the reward is so beautiful. You are not alone.